confident, building confidence

Building Confidence in 3 Steps

Let me begin by saying that my confidence used to be virtually non-existent. While I have made a ton of progress, it’s still something that I am working on for myself. It definitely hasn’t been easy, but the results have been life-changing. Does confidence really make that much of a difference? YES. I PROMISE. I used to think that people overhyped it and that you could just fake it… but you can’t. People can tell. When you are truly confident in who you are and what you’re doing, it shows. You GLOW. You radiate this energy that you just cannot get anywhere else. When you find your confidence, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Once I realized that I am my own person and I should do what feels right for me, no matter what anyone else thinks, that’s when everything changed. I moved home from school and am currently finishing my bachelor’s degree online. Is it the “traditional” way? Not exactly. Am I confident that this is the right choice for me? Absolutely. I’ve had so many people tell me that they’ve noticed a positive change in me; not only from Instagram, but in-person as well. And I’m telling you – it’s the newly-gained confidence. Now that I’ve told you my life story… let’s get into how we can make this happen for you. This post may contain affiliate links, which means I could receive a small commission, at no cost to you, if you make a purchase through a link.

Step 1: Change Your Mindset

The key to becoming more confident is to first change your mindset. Take a look at these quotes for some inspiration.

You are unique, which means you have a unique path in life… and it may be different from what you’ve been told is the “traditional” path. I know mine is. So take a step back and realize what you really want. Not your parents, not your friends. You. You can’t live life for everyone else… because then what’s the point?

If you feel stuck trying to live up to society’s (and/or your family’s) expectations, don’t worry. I’ve been there. And I’m here to help. There is more to life than that, and being able to truly be yourself and do what feels right for you is a game-changer. And guess what? This is where your confidence will begin to flourish. 

You are powerful.

You are badass. Once you finally realize that, you can move on to the next step. It can take time, but really put the work in. This is important. Listen to podcasts, read self-help books, meditate, etc. Do whatever it takes to make you realize the power you hold… and you hold so much power. I know it.

Okay, ready? You’ve trained your mind, so now it’s time to talk about how to take action.

Step 2: Apply Your New Mindset to Everything in Your Life

There’s this concept in psychology called cognitive dissonance, which is when your beliefs and actions don’t line up. It can create discomfort until you adjust one of these to match the other. After transforming your mindset, you’re probably experiencing some of this cognitive dissonance. So, let’s change your actions to match your new mindset.

Think about the things or people that are stopping you from going for what you want. For me, it was my dad. He was very traditional in the sense that he thought there was only one way to be successful. He made it seem that if I did anything else, then I was a failure. So for years I just did what I was told – even though I was unhappy. Any confidence that I had was stripped away and I felt… stuck. 

It wasn’t until I was 19 that I finally decided that enough was enough. How do you deal with someone who puts you down? You distance yourself from them. I wrote my dad a letter saying that I needed some space from our relationship and that I would no longer be contacting him. It wasn’t easy, but it was. I knew it was the right thing to do, and I can honestly say I am happier and more confident than I’ve ever been.

Of course, this may not be a realistic method for everyone, especially if you’re dealing with parents who financially support you. If this is the case, then you need to first learn how to financially support yourself. You need a plan. Luckily, I have an article on how to do just that… click here :)

If the people or things holding you back are NOT people who financially provide for you, CUT THEM OFF. It sounds harsh, but it needs to be done. Also, make sure you still have people in your life who do support you… although I do think it’s better to temporarily be lonely than to be surrounded by fake company. You’ll find your people; once you do, you’ll realize cutting off those unhealthy relationships was the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself.

Need help with how to distance yourself from people? Read my guide here :)

This step takes time, but it’ll help so much to no longer be surrounded by that negative energy. When you’re ready, let’s move on to the final step.

Step 3: Take the Leap and Show Off Your New Confidence

At this point, you’ve done all that you can to bring yourself up and eliminate anything that brought you down. I am so proud of you, I know this hasn’t been easy.

You should be feeling much more confident at this point, but don’t worry if you’re not quite there yet. Give yourself some time to adjust to your new lifestyle – you did just lose some people that you’re used to having in your life. After this period of adjustment, you should start to notice a difference in yourself – and others will too! SHOW IT OFF!!

My favorite thing to do when I’m feeling confident is to share it with others. Not because I’m a narcissist… self-love and narcissism are completely different. But because its contagious! And because I want to show people something I worked so hard for! True friends and family will love seeing your progress and will hype you up. 

Try posting more frequently on Instagram. Or just do photoshoots for yourself – you absolutely do not have to post the pictures anywhere! Go to a consignment store (I love Plato’s Closet) and treat yourself to a cute new outfit (or use something you already have!), get all dressed up, do your hair/makeup/etc., and do a solo shoot! I use this mini tripod and bluetooth photo clicker from Amazon for mine. I normally hate pictures of myself – but you’ll be surprised at how good this will make you feel.

Some of my favorite hot girl pics of myself

Besides posting on social media, start a new project! Do what those people and your previous mindset had been holding you back from. For example, I started this blog. I’m also in the process of setting up a little Etsy shop so I can start my own jewelry business… something my dad would have never supported. And I couldn’t be more excited for the future :,)

My last piece of advice: use your newly-attained confidence to your advantage and do the things you never thought you’d be able to do before. You’ve pretty much given yourself a fresh start to do what you want with your life… so go out there and do it! You’ve made it this far, so I know you’re determined. You. Got. This. Go show the world what you can do.

As always, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you would like some more advice! You can use my contact form :) Also, tag me in any photoshoot pics (@katrinakidd) or drop your IG usernames in the comments because I want to see you SHINE!!

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